Pouring into the sea of reason

This is incubation at its pinnacle.  Winter in New England, mild to a native, and yet potent in its ability to isolate and disconnect.  I need to bare this burden, and yet seek a way to survive.  Aaron is in LA immersed in his craft and all that comes with it, and I am tending the fire through relentless work and the daily tides that come and go with the needs of five children.  Breathe deep.  Some day there will be time for you too woman.  I will not look at the time slipped from my time with Ksenia, which too soon has past, and perhaps and most likely will not return to me in this lifetime.  So I shall trust that there is a divine plan to catch and free my dreams as well.  Here inside the incubation awaits a burning bush, a vision, a brush that longs to wield beyond the gates of Eden, beyond self, and surmount the challenge of potential miracle.   


Believe me, I know I am nothing but a gift of a Godhead blown alive in this present moment. Here, now, always, the Spirit penetrating the is-ness of it all.  I will hold true this moment birthing forth so that grace and gratitude can be made full in the mercy of action.  Spin my dust of being into radience, particles of freedom distanced from the wages of sin.  Take me into the depths of knowing patience so I can attest the ravages of both time and test.  It is different when life feels as if it has cycled far enough into the span of one's distance to barely glimpse the days to come--to feel them in their pregnancy of unknowing and know the pace of time to pursue the course to bring them full term.  I will hold fast. It will be revealed.


Show this woman the path that anoints the stead.  The will is permeated, saturated in purpose.  This life as we know it is all falling away.  I will collect my house in order and be ready.  Today happens to be the feast of the Three Hierarchs.  And they are complete in the other room, ready to go off into the world, my offering to their sacrifice and wisdom.  Although no photo yet of my icon, this is an ancient example:

Troparion: "Let us who love their words gather together and honor with hymns the three great torch-bearers of the triune Godhead: Basil the Great, Gregory the Theologian and John Chrysostom. These men have enlightened the world with the rays of their divine doctrines. They are sweetly-flowing rivers of wisdom filling all creation with springs of heavenly knowledge. Ceaselessly they intercede for us before the Holy Trinity!" 


And so I will pray for a strengthening of spirit and another log be lain on the hearth.  Gently, lovingly, may the warmth grow and spread so that the light illumines the way.  Time shall set us free and the promise of release shall unfurl purpose to the wait and incubate. 

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Synaxis of the Three Hierarchs: Basil the Great, Gregory the Theologian and John Chrysostom: During the eleventh century, disputes raged in Constantinople about which of the three hierarchs was the greatest. Some preferred St Basil (January 1), others honored St Gregory the Theologian (January 25), while a third group exalted St John Chrysostom (November 13).

Dissension among Christians increased. Some called themselves Basilians, others referred to themselves as Gregorians, and others as Johnites.

By the will of God, the three hierarchs appeared to St John the Bishop of Euchaita (June 14) in the year 1084, and said that they were equal before God. "There are no divisions among us, and no opposition to one another."

They ordered that the disputes should stop, and that their common commemoration should be celebrated on a single day. Bishop John chose January 30 for their joint Feast, thus ending the controversy and restoring peace.