I need to establish something. Something that perhaps is already a given, but none-the-less something that I want to stress--I am not imagining myself to be an iconographer yet. I am walking to that point, but will clarify aspiring as the key term. It is a slow climb, amidst the other parts of my life as wife and mother of five.
I have fully embraced the notion of the journey and slow daily process of learning to become. I think this runs in a synonymous fashion with the daily dying to self and sin and hopeful learning to love more and more each day. To break old habit, to not fall asleep, to be in constant awareness of tending to the door--allowing the worthy to enter and break bread. To be open to that which the Creator intends.
This is what gets me up each day. The notion of possibility. To be a mouthpiece to the Spirit, through hands and eyes and voice. And often I fail, or seem to make only the slightest of marks to fulfill. But God can be like the smallest voice deep within the wind, and I am learning that acceptance of the small is liberation, as long as I am faithful in obedience. I do not want there to be much of "what I have failed to do" if prompted.
And I have been prompted. So much of it has to do with Beauty, and the gesture of the reveal to the world. And again, who am I? I am nothing. I am dust that longs for the rain to be poured forth or to be spit upon so that I may become clay, and be shaped and somehow anointed on the eyes of the blind. To take part in the return to wholeness. For whomever that may be...
"Above all, trust in the slow work of God..." Teilhard de Chardin
I have slowly been working on the fulfillment of a small, still echo that I have lived with for several years. One that I was unprepared to even attempt earlier as I did not have the training to carry it through. You can read more in length about this project on my website under "Life Icon Project" http://www.iconeyestudio.com. But I was just recently granted funding to go ahead, and I feel confident that I have the ability to do it now, after several years of training and pushing myself to learn. Words fall short. This is an enormous gift to be able to bring Our Lady of Guadalupe to more people and one I am most passionate about. I am certainly no expert on her apparition that occurred back in 1531, but the miracle of image that was given has to be contemplated. It was the apparition of Our Lady of Fatima that opened my heart back when I was nineteen, and this one, being that it is a miraculous painting, strikes a very personal place as an artist.
(Very good photographs of the image and understanding of symbols used within can be found http://www.secretsoftheimage.org/en/index.html ~ one can get very close to areas of interest).
So I am currently undertaking a large true-to-size commission of the image, using my skills as an (aspiring) iconographer, but adhering closely to the true prototype of the image from the original. I am researching indiginous pigments to Mexico, and currently a board is being made roughly 3 1/2 by 5 feet in size by a master carpenter. There is no way to express my excitement. Affirmations of this specific undertaking are being given daily, even though I do not have a permanent future home for the icon as of yet. I know it will be made known in due time. Even my carpenter friend, upon giving him the master pattern for the board, shared with me his recent enthusiasm about grinding stones and gems to mix into layers of beautiful wooden boxes that he makes, which paralleled my own need to grind Azurite and other gems from Mexico to incorporate into the painting process with the organic and luminescent inherent nature of egg tempera.
I only briefly share my enthusiasm here, but I will be documenting the full journey on another blog for the record: http://www.ourladyofguadalupeproject.blogspot.com ~ join me if you wish. The unfolding has already been most beautiful...
So in utmost gratitude for having a patron who joins me in anticipation of Beauty, I pray for the unfolding of gifts for all, that we can support one another through the slow and wonderous work of God...
