It has been months. Time rolling by as my pregnancy built. No words passed by this zone in the build to new life--I stretched and encompassed the little growing Soren within me. And now here he is, gently breathing asleep on my chest as little Emma collects paper clips on the floor, busily making piles and singing as she goes. It is amazing to ponder the enormity of life change possible in several seasons passing...
And so now I slowly pull together the shape of life in this time. Two little people totally dependent on me (not to mention the three older ones), and a significant desire if not insatiable need to continue to hone the skills in becoming the iconographer that calls to me. How to do this? To take what little time belonging to me (in napping times of the little ones) to enter that space.
And here comes winter as we round the corner of Thanksgiving next week.
I jumped back into writing the face of Christ the other day feeling out of sorts--not truly myself, missing and hungering to pray in that way. So I did. And Christ looked back at me for two hours as I lined his hair with raw umber as lovingly as I could and paved the way in pompeii red for the outline of the cloth from which his face looks out. A simple way to love I suppose, but the love gave back. And questions poured forth, and I know that I must continue to find whatever time I can to contemplate this place of simply being and being loved--a place where there is a semblance of understanding and being understood. And drawing forth to take with me upon leaving that time and space, so it is still with me. Like the Jesus prayer. To be able to pray without ceasing and to love continually.
I am excited about future plans for the Saints to come out of the door I write. Now I see the flaws of each past attempt, which actually encouraged me that I saw the growth and the struggle. Another reason it is so important to forge ahead and keep growing. To keep the eye discerning and seeing more--opening up to do the best it can in working with hand and heart.
So for now, the paperclips are played and little eyes upon me to move on.
But I will return to share pictures and images.
